The goal wasn’t to go this long between writing! Life had other plans though. I’ll try to type the best I can. I’ve got an IV line right in the middle of my right hand and it’s not pleasant. Makes doing anything difficult.
I haven’t really said it because I just created this little slice of heaven but I’m currently 33 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
May 21, after working a full, non-eventful day, I went home to get ready for maternity photo’s Joel’s sister wanted to take of us for our baby shower. While standing at the counter to put my makeup on, it felt like I peed myself. This can be a pretty standard thing during pregnancy haha. You just go with it. It’s happened while sneezing or coughing these last 8 months. However, when I sat down to finish peeing it wasn’t something that could be controlled with a start and stop. So, I started gathering that it maybe wasn’t pee but I didn’t want to freak Joel out. Funny enough, it happened a 2nd time right when Joel stood at the toilet himself to pee. I could feel it leaking and told him he had to go because I didn’t want to make a mess all over the floor. Poor guy’s like okay hold on and had to pinch it off himself and run to the spare bath. He’s such a good guy!! After the 2nd time I called the after-hours midwife number for my birthing center.
You see, the PLAN was to use a midwife at a birthing center. To have no medications at all. To use their amazingly huge jetted tub to help with contractions. To be in a very peaceful environment. To be released within 2-4 hours. To have a cheaper bill (if I’m completely honest). To just have an overall amazing experience birthing my, most likely, one and only child into this world. Baby Isabella had other plans though.
The midwife recommended I head to the ER about 25 minutes away as they have a Level III NICU just in case we do need it. If I’d have gone to the closest hospital, they would have just transferred us there anyway. My SIL and nieces were at the house at this point for the photo’s so they drove the two of us to the hospital. I didn’t bring a bag or anything with me. It’s literally the only time in your life you’re hoping you did indeed pee yourself. Once we got to the ER and I stepped out of the car to go inside I felt a gush down my legs. That pretty much confirmed my fears: my water broke at 32 weeks and 5 days at 6:30pm.
A test was done to verify if it was indeed amniotic fluid or urine. It was definitely amniotic fluid. So, the hospital admitted me immediately. They got me set-up with an IV of fluid to keep me hydrated, antibiotics, and magnesium. I also received round 1 of 2 steroid shots. The next day I received the second steroid shot and an ultrasound to check the baby out and see how much fluid I did have left. All of her organs were fully formed and functioning – except for the lungs, those happen last. I saw all four chambers of her heart, which was beating normally. Her fluid levels were around 8-9, expressed in AFI (Amniotic Fluid Index). 8-18 is considered normal and usually at it’s peak around between week 20 and 35. As of May 30th her AFI was 6.8, still a decent number. I am still leaking slowly though.
The magnesium was awful. They give you a max (bolus) dosage for 20 minutes when they first begin it. It makes your body feel like it’s on fire from the inside out, makes you very relaxed and sleepy and also makes you really dizzy. After 20 minutes, they lower the drippage (my medical term HAHA!) rate. I was on this for 24 hours. After a few days they went from liquid antibiotics to the pill of Amoxicillin. I’m also taking an iron pill now because they said I’m just slightly anemic.
This has been such a test. I’ve had good days and bad days. My emotions are on a triple roller coaster here. You’re already emotional because you’re pregnant then you have to deal with the emotions of your baby being born premature and then having to live in a hospital and being confined to a bed. It’s not been easy but I’ve been lucky for sure. Lucky that she waited until week 32 where the chances of her surviving are pretty much 100%. Lucky that I’ll only have to be at the hospital for 3 weeks. There are women who are on bed rest for much longer than I’ve been. Women whose babies are born so much earlier than mine.
There are so many people praying for us. We have such good people in our lives and it makes all the difference in the world to have a great support system. Joel has not had it easy either but does his best to make it easy for me. He’s brought me everything I needed, even if it’s been over several days because I forget about things. He’s stayed the night on the very uncomfortable recliner they have in my room. He’s taking care of our dogs and home as well while still working. He’s helped me shave my legs and underarms. His family have been amazing also in helping us out. They’ve made us food. His sister has painted my toenails and fingernails. They visit as often as they can. My sister and niece have visited and friends as well. Friends have brought me baby gifts since my baby shower was canceled due to me being here. Flowers, magazines, Krispy Kreme Donuts, cupcakes, cookies, cake, plants and all the books have been brought to me as well.
The ugly part? Having to be in bed all day. They did eventually unhook me from everything and I can move to the recliner. My days are incredibly long and boring. My tailbone is constantly sore. My eyes are always glassy and hard to focus. I’m always tired yet still energized on some days. I’m use to being active. Being told to, “rest while you can”. There’s no such thing when living in a hospital. The nurses and doctors are in and out constantly. You get woken up twice a night for monitoring: one for you and one for the baby. You get woken up at 3am for blood to be drawn. You get woken up from your naps for monitoring again. There just is no resting while here. Feeling incredibly lonely. Being told, “It’s better than the alternative.” As though I don’t know. As though I WANT the alternative. Being here is miserable. It does not, in any way, shape or form, mean I want the alternative or wish for the alternative. I want my baby to be healthy and strong. I’m doing all of this for my baby to prevent the alternative. It doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and unicorns while I’m here. It’s still okay to feel miserable doing it. Would anyone even be able to guess my true feelings when they talk to me or visit me? Probably not. Would they even be able to guess the amount of times I’ve cried? Probably not. It’s not easy, that’s for sure but I always count my blessings and am extremely grateful.
So, if Isabella can stay patient just a few more days she’ll be induced on June 6th, this Thursday. Just 3 more days. Of course, I’ll still have to labor her and who knows how long that will last but the induction itself will begin that morning. How long she stays in NICU depends completely on her. Is she breathing on her own or does she need oxygen. Are all of her organs truly functioning on their own and the way they’re supposed to. Is she eating on her own and gaining weight or has to go on a feeding tube. Does she have an infection or is jaundiced. Is she at least 4lbs. We won’t know any of that until she gets here. If I happen to go into labor between now and then they won’t stop it but let it happen at this point. They definitely won’t let me go longer than 34 weeks though for risk of infection since her amniotic sac has already ruptured. The longer we go the greater the risk of infection for both of us.
I’d still like to have her naturally too, without an epidural. I can’t avoid the Pitocin at this point unless she decides to come on her own. The hospital said they will do whatever they can to help me deliver vaginally and only go toward a c-section if it’s an absolute emergency.
I just want my baby girl to be born as healthy as possible.
Nicoles Fitness 